Friday, August 23, 2013

8 Signs You've Been Watching Friday Night Lights

1. You can finish this: Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. __________.

2. You told your parents you wanted to go to Texas.

3. You Googled Dillon, Texas to see if it was a real town.

4. You wish your high school (or college team) had as much spirit as Dillon High School.

5. You've questioned whether it was okay to have a crush on sophomores in high school when you're a sophomore in college.

6. You wish you looked like Lyla Garrity.

7. You thought that using a quote from Finding Nemo might actually work as wedding vows.

8. Sometimes you forget that this is about High School Football.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Beautiful People of Teen Wolf.

A little late, but in honor of the season finale of Teen Wolf on Monday which by the way was totally fitting with the full moon. Now, also some more good news is that we don't have to wait until next summer for new episodes, thanks MTV!!!

Now while the acting of the MTV show Teen Wolf, may not be mesmerizing, the characters on the show sure are.

My favorite was Jackson, the token douche bag jock, but unfortunately he left after season 2. He's moved on to better things apparently (some show I've never heard of) and I'm not sure about his sexual orientation because of some modeling for a gay magazine he did, but oh well he's still nice to look at.

Lydia. And who said redheads weren't pretty? I never said that. And usually the stereotype is more true for "gingers" but Lydia doesn't have any freckles that I see which is one of the criteria for being a me, I've googled it.

Derek, although sometimes a little scary, is the tall, dark, and handsome guy I think Scott McCall thinks he is... He is mysterious and angsty and the bad boy we all have a spot in our hearts for. But now that he's no longer an Alpha, I don't know if this whole lack of power thing works for me.

Stiles. Whenever I try to describe Stiles or show someone a picture of him who doesn't watch Teen Wolf, they think I am joking. Maybe he's not the conventionally hot guy, but I am literally in love with his character. He is the witty and goofy, sometimes clueless, but genuine friend who you just wish you knew in real life.
Also I don't know why I keep picking GIFs of people eating apples...

Isaac's character is super random and at first I didn't really know why he's in the show, and sometimes I feel bad for him because he is kind of the outkast but I mean look at that face, who wouldn't want to be his friend? What is wrong with you Beacon Hills students??? Anyway, he seems like the kind of guy who doesn't know he's hot and get's kind of awkward in interviews when someone points that out. Also he has a British accent that he does a really bad job of hiding during the show.

Allison is the girl version of tall, dark and handsome plus she's BA going all hunger games and shit with that bow and arrow. At first she was a little annoying and couldn't stand up for herself, but she is getting more and more confidence and independence is hot!

Yup so, I'm pretty sure acting skills had nothing to do with getting on this show, more like hey, so can you guys take off your shirt. Okay, six pack, you're in.

Even their parents are hot. Can you say MILF? Like I think all of their parents had them at like 15.
Scott's mom

Also, more good news. Teen Wolf is now on Netflix so you can catch up before the second half of the season starts in January!

Monday, August 19, 2013

My pants don't fit: How to Avoid the Freshman (or Sophomore, Junior or Senior) 15

1. Stay away from the cafeteria desserts.
I’m not going to lie to you and say that the cafeteria desserts aren’t good (at least at my school) and at many schools they may be the only recognizable food there is. The red velvet cookie bars and cereal treats are delicious and once (or maybe twice) I’ve gotten a to-go box solely full of cookies and other desserts. And, I think my cafeteria puts the desserts right by the dish drop off on purpose, just to tempt us, but you have to be stronger than that. Sometimes this takes offering to take all the plates at your table so you don’t have any free hands to grab a cookie or going in through the out, (although frowned upon, sorry!) and then back out through the out.

2. Keep healthy snacks close.
Grab a banana or orange on your way out of your cafeteria. If you aren't supposed to take food out, then bring a backpack and stuff it full of fruit. If your bag doesn't have a top zipper, make sure you're not putting too many oranges in or it will fall off your chair and the oranges will roll everywhere (not that that's happened to me or anything). A good late night or quick in between class snack is a banana and peanut butter. If you have a ton of chips and cookies in your room you are going to be more tempted to eat them at times you aren’t even hungry. And when you are hungry, and you’re too lazy to go get food, you are going to go through a whole box of Cheezits and then regret it.

3. Go on walks.
Not a gym person? Don’t like to run? No problem. You don’t have to be a workout junkie to stay healthy. Maybe you will feel like a middle aged woman, but some exercise is better than none. You already walk to class, but take a morning walk with a friend or explore campus (I have yet to go in every single building on campus). Night walking is nice too, because there aren’t many people on the sidewalks. But keep your phone with you and stay on campus or close to be safe. I like to call my parents and high school friends on these walks because it lets me get some fresh air and I can vent about the people who live in my dorm.

4. Eat before you go out.
If you think you are going to get some snacks when you get to a party, or your drink choices are going to fill you up, you are wrong. Yeah maybe your caloric intake will equal that of a meal, but if you're dancing and sweating the night away, you'll burn those off. You are also going to be so caught up in the excitement that you may even forget that you are hungry until it’s 2am and you’re starving and you order a pizza from Papa John’s and down the whole thing in five minutes by yourself and then pass out.

5. Don’t eat late at night.
I know it's temping to hold a book in one hand and a bag of chips in another. But this is what I call “busy eating.” Take a couple minutes to take a break from studying (it’s okay!) and get a small healthy snack like trail mix or yogurt. Finish your snack and then go back to studying. When you are multitasking, your brain doesn’t know if you are hungry so you may continue to eat without really realizing you are full. Also, eating late at night prevents you from going to sleep right away and is not very good for your metabolism.

Moderation is key. It’s okay once in a while to eat a cookie or snack on some potato chips, because if you totally deprive yourself, you are going to end up binging. But don’t eat McDonalds for every meal and remember to do a little extra physical activity if you do decide to indulge in a treat.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Where's my prince charming?

We grew up watching Disney movies. Which means I'm still growing up because I still watch them. But, I recently discovered the real stories Disney princess movies were based on. The Real Grimm Stories. (Google them. There are several versions, the more recent they are, the more sugar coated they are.)

But....the princesses in these stories did not in fact wake up or were healed from true loves kiss, or find their prince charming. Most of the time they had to kill someone or themselves and the rest of the characters didn't just deal with the princess "winning", they were brutally murdered or incapacitated to prevent them from stopping the princess' happiness.
Let me give you an example of Cinderella, the real story. Then you can decide if you want to read the rest, and if you have a sick mind like mine then you probably will. Actually, it's not really that gruesome, but definitely not rated G.
Cinderella's dad remarries, blah blah, Cinderella is too "dirty and ugly" to go to the Prince's ball. Cinderella cries by her mother's grave and magically gets a silver dress. There's no pumpkin carriage (boo, my favorite part). The prince dances only with Cinderella. Cinderella leaves and loses her shoe. Cinderella's shoe is so special, and no one has the same size foot as her in the entire land. Cinderella's step sisters try on the shoe. One of them cuts off her toes to fit into the shoe and the prince takes her with him, then she is bleeding everywhere so he takes her back. Then the other sister cuts off her heel to fit in the shoe. Again, blood everywhere. By now the shoe is probably super bloody and soiled but the prince returns again and it fits Cinderella. Then they leave to live in the castle, and the sisters want to come too but then birds attack them and peck out their eyes and everyone lives happily ever after! Except the step sisters.
Now, while Disney probably would not have made millions selling these movies to children, examples such as Snow White and the Huntsmen have begun to play off the original stories to make action and horror movies which have closer ties to the original.
Almost all of these fairy tales could be made into horror movies, but Hollywood has probably not tried to do that so that the children are not scarred by their beloved characters, (what, Hollywood actually cares about people?) My guess is that Disney or someone has bought the rights to all these stories and is paying everyone else off to prevent this from happening. But honestly, I think children become more scarred and depressed when they realize that they can't just be a princess and live happily ever after. Pretty much Disney princess movies are the equivalent to Nicholas Sparks' movies. You can decide whether or not that is a good or bad thing.

The only knight in shining armor you're gonna get is the one that comes out of the limo on the Bachelorette.

Disney also makes it seem like all parents are hard ass control freaks but no parent I know would let their kid get married and run off with a random stranger at age 15.
Thats why, in regards to Disney movies, I always stick to watching the animal ones. I guess talking animals are more believable than true loves first kiss curing someone from being stone cold dead.
I'm not even going to go into the whole feminist debate, because quite frankly that would take too much energy, plus I wouldn't really call myself a feminist enough to argue about it. 
But basically, Disney just tells us women to rely on rich and hot people to live happily ever after. (Sounds good to me.)
Disney princesses do model how to think logically and solve problems though. Here is a pie chart (that I did not make) to demonstrate this.

 See look, almost 5% involves actually thinking or solving problems.

Monday, August 12, 2013

10 things to know when visiting Portland

1. Public nudity is legal.

2. We like our bikes so much we even make them into art.

4. Subarus are the new mini vans.

5. Watch out for high profile crime.
"According to Portland police, officers responded to a domestic violence report at a residence in the 3200 block of Southeast 22nd Avenue at about 2:30 a.m. A woman told officers that her boyfriend, Grotberg, had assaulted her, and then choked her with his dreadlocks. Officers searched the neighborhood and located Grotberg, taking him into custody."

6. Know the difference between these rose gardens.

7. Be prepared to wait hours in line for donuts and ice cream.

8. Only tourists use umbrellas.

9. Please pronounce Oregon and Willamette correctly.

10. We don't pump our own gas.