Thursday, July 4, 2013

Asian Friends

So I have this weird disease where every Asian person wants to be friends with me. Not for any specifically flattering reason but purely because I'm Asian and they're Asian so therefore we are destined to be friends. I don't think I can be within 10 feet of a middle aged Asian woman without her stopping me and asking about my Asianness. Usually this is not very often due to the overwhelming white population of Oregon, but three four times this past week it's happened.

The first time a woman at work stopped me in the locker room. Our conversation as follows...
"You Korean?"
"Yes I am"
"You have Korean face."
"Oh, are you Korean?"
"Yes, I Korean too."
"Oh cool, well have a nice day" as I walk away folding towels.

2nd time. At the dry cleaners.
"You Korean?" (here we go again)
"Yes I am"
"You have Korean face (deja vu). Pretty."
"Oh, thank you."
"You speak Korean?"
"No I'm adopted"
"Oh so you don't know Korean?"
"No, my parents are white."
"Oh you know real parents?"
"No I was like 4 months old"
"You should find parents. They may be on tv. (something about being on tv, not really sure what she said.)

3rd time. In the locker room.
"Hallo, what ethnicity are you?"
"I'm Korean. What about you?"
"Oh cool"
"You full Korean?"
"I think so?"
"You look mixed."
"Well I was adopted (like that has anything to do with anything)"
"Oh you have a white parent?"
"No they're both white. But I was adopted from Korea."
Then she proceeds to follow me around the locker room saying "hi" like 20 times.

4th time. In the locker room.
"Hi. You Korean?"
*reads name tag* "Lizzy. What's last name?"
"What kind of name is that?!"
"It's French? I'm adopted."
*something in Korean*
"Uh I don't speak Korean, I'm adopted."
"Oh you don't speak language?" 

And honestly, maybe I'm racist against my own kind but I can't tell what type of Asian, people are. One time during an assembly, I was sitting next to my friend Eric and we both proceeded to guess what type of Asian all the Asian kids in our class were. I think he got about 99% correct, as for me, I was honestly just guessing. Maybe having Asian parents gives you the power to tell the difference between different types of Asians. I like to think of myself as a twinkie. Yellow on the outside but white on the inside.

I also notice that I am the only Asian person who doesn't have Asian friends. Like I'm pretty sure I have two Asian friends and they are both half Asian. Shout out to Cassie and Megan #AZNS

Even at school all the Asians gather together in groups. Almost like an Asian Cult. They all live in the same dorm. One time I went in there and they found out I was Korean. Then asked why I wasn't on the Korean Listserve (first I'd heard of this). Then I said I was adopted so I have a french last name. One guy proceeds to run around the dorm telling everyone that I'm the missing Korean that they heard about but who wasn't on the list serve.

Also I think Asian people try to relate to me about their "Tiger Moms" and I don't even know what to say because my mom is definitely not a Tiger mom. I mean she likes cats, and I think she said she would want a tiger as a pet if she could have one, but that's about it.

No comments:

Post a Comment